Nick wishes he were a lion. Mom thinks he’s just so sweet, but look at those fangs.
Nick wishes he were a lion. Mom thinks he’s just so sweet, but look at those fangs.
I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do thisI can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this



Chicago — Oct. 17, 2009
I want to go back.
Bob Marley made propaganda music that brainwashed people not to think or feel.
What am I going to do with my life? I asked myself after closing the door to my apartment and flopping on my bed. I’m just going to teach. I think about standing in front of the classroom and I sigh. Sure, I can do that every day.
I remember the faces of the children I spent so much time with over the summer — climbing in trees, playing kickball, having water wars, capture the flag, canoe tipping in the pond. School’s not like that, though.
And then I think I could spend hours and hours designing things. In fact, I do. And I don’t realize it’s been hours later until Mike knocks on my window and angrily waves his phone at me. Whoops. That wouldn’t be much of a life either — zoned out, reclusive, forgetting simple things like remembering to eat.
You know, I hate the fact that when I’m emotionally exhausted I just can’t control myself. I haven’t cried so often in a long time — when it comes, it’s uncontrollable and humiliating.
Sometimes I just want to disappear.
I think, how can I make my life better?
I think I would drop out of school and travel the world, doing odd jobs to make money. But I’m too afraid to do that. I too afraid to do anything I might regret. Besides, there’s someone here I’m not willing to leave without and I know he wouldn’t come.
But then, I think, when will I ever be able to do what I want? It’s one supposed-to after another. Next, it will be making money in a job I’ll take even though I don’t like it. I know this will happen, because I’m doing it right now.
And when I’m old and gray and I have wrinkles on my forehead for worrying so much, I will regret most of all not taking the risks you can only take when you’re young. I will regret being afraid I’d regret something for once.
And then, I think, you have homework to do, why don’t you just ignore the lump in your throat, put your head down and keep treking day after god-forsaken day, because some day! you will see how all this shit was worth it.
“‘Beauty is truth, truth beauty,’ - that is all
you need to know on earth, and all you need to know.”
John Keats (and kind of Sir Joshua Reynolds)
Organizing photos… this must have been when we first met haha
All I Want Is You
Barry Louis Polisar
“If I was a flower growing wild and free…”
I had a dream I was in the desert chasing something or someone…
About to give up, I looked down to see I was running on a treadmill.
Seven dark strands drift down the drain…